Sam's Barmitzvah Speech

Rosenthal production’s was launched in 1985. Its first major venture was in 1999 when ‘Jason - The Barmitzvah’ hit the big screen. Rosenthal production’s sponsored the Premier and afterwards it was bankrupt (I wore rags and didn’t eat for a year). In 2001 Rosenthal Productions launched Elliott into manhood. (FOR A FURTHER 2 YEARS I DIDN’T EAT OR DRESS PROPERLY). To be launched into space and have a premier of a movie is one thing. But to open a diner, THAT’S ANOTHER. AT LAST. A Rosenthal production that guarantees me good food. I am proud that you could all join me to open the latest venture. Sam’s Diner.

It isn’t easy, as you can imagine, putting together a new diner. Once the Rabbi has set an opening date, there is a lot to arrange. From the select specially chosen guests (YOU GUYS), to the staff uniforms (THOSE GUYS)

Why has all this happened…well I went onto solids when most newborns were struggling to finish a bottle. I knew I was being cheated and that there was something better out there for me than a drop of warm milk. My taste for fine dining has been developing ever since and it has always been only a matter of time until I owned my own establishment AND UNSUPRISINGLY IT’S HAPPENED!

Yesterday I became a Jewish man. This could cause me problems as I’ve always traded on my cute face and good looks to get away with murder. Adults find this face Sam smiles impossible to reprimand. I’ve even conned all of you into feeling I’m too young to be Barmitzvah. However I have it, in writing, from a rabbi that I am indeed an adult and there are many people to thank for helping me along that road.

Firstly, Amanda and Ian, my financial backers, and loving parents. They have always had their uses; however they have been particularly helpful recently with the opening of this diner. Since Amanda has now lost her baby boy to adulthood, I have bought her a replacement baby bear that promises not to grow up. (Present teddy)

For those of you who don’t know my dad IAN could and should open a research facility. We have researched all diners in London and the South East. I tried to convince him, in the line of research, of course! to fly me to America to do my tasting, but he wasn’t having it. So I’ve remained here and have eaten more curly fries and burgers than I would care to remember. I’ve become brilliant at colouring in menus. I’m very polite and always ask friends who drop in if they have a reservation. Mum has started to ask me if I want cream, or ice cream with my dessert.

I am very honoured to be the last Rosenthal of this generation to reach manhood, and I’m most impressed that grandma has kept going for such an event. Visiting her has become a bit like going to an auction or liquidation sale. I can’t look at anything without her wrapping it up, putting it in a box and telling me she doesn’t need it anymore. She is remarkable, and in spite of her continuous pain she keeps on saying she is fine and she comes to the diner to work each day. We have however, during our last board meeting, decided that its time to retire you grandma. Luckily, I am pleased and surprised to find that Grandma is the winner of our colouring competition….. just look at what she achieved…..Quite amazing for someone with arthritis who can’t hold the crayons properly. I smell a RAT! She is an example to us all! Here is your prize. A Sam’s Diner goody bag!

I realise that the food here is terrific, but am never the less impressed at Grandpa travelling from Brazil especially for my opening. Rosenthal and Buenos…..it was a meeting of stomachs! Both families know how to enjoy a good meal and a good laugh. Grandpa has had a very hard year, and was even back in hospital as recently as last week. I’m very proud to have you here with us. With your proportions I may even use you to advertise and put your picture on a billboard outside.

Eli is the chains IT co-ordinator, he has designed and kept control of my restaurant website. Some of you have joined in the spirit and logged in frequently, others have enjoyed putting embarrassing pictures of me on the website, do keep logging in after the opening where you will find, I have my revenge and you can see the embarrassing pictures of yourselves from this evening. For those that haven’t logged in, get to it! Eli is available to hire, please negotiate with the backers.

Finally a big thank you to Jason…….for coming! I’m also relieved that he didn’t deliver a speech, he is so good at them, that he becomes a tough act to follow, mum at least I know is rubbish! Thank you to Jordan and Leo for your speech and a special thank you to Josh, my best friend, for his words .We have been through a lot together and I’m glad you are here. Petoshua Enjoy your evening, eat drink and suck lolly’s, not till after the meal all you grown-ups! And don’t forget to sign the visitor’s book, so that we can inform you of future ROSENTHAL PRODUCTIONS. Although the backers are delighted to announce that from now on they will be weddings.